Mom

 I stayed with mom in Kansas City, KS until September 18, 2023. I got a job working as an office administrator for a company that helped wealthy people manage their housing. Boring, but the pay was good. On September 18, mom sold her house (of over 30 years!) and moved into Vintage Park retirement home in Hiawatha. She had the biggest room in the place--basically a studio apartment--but she never took to living in such a public situation. In November, she told me that God had told her she needed to buy a house. She looked at exactly one house, bought it, got it fixed up and moved in the last day of the year.

Just as I had in Kansas City and when she lived in Vintage Park, I visited her every day. Usually I spent the morning and early afternoon with her--getting her breakfast and lunch, cleaning, doing laundry, etc. In February, she contracted pneumonia and was hospitalized for three days. They sent her home on 2 liters of oxygen and at that point, I had to move in with her. She needed help with everything and wasn't able to be by herself.

We stuck it out until June, when I told her I was exhausted from trying to take care of her all by myself. I also missed my family, my garden and my cat. She agreed that she would go back to Vintage Park, but by then, she needed more help that they could provide. We found her a private room at Anew Health Care nursing home. Anew also has an assisted living wing, so if she is able to improve enough she can move to that section. She moved in June 17.

Dad

 Dad died on March 18, 2023. I was with him when he took his last breath, but I don't think he was actually there--just his body, working hard as it always had. He went into the hospital on February 7th, 2023, but he was already dying. We just didn't know it. 

I was at work on Tuesday the 7th, having gone through a mental breakdown September 11 of 2021 and quit teaching the same day. I'll write more about that another time (or not).  In October of  '21, I was hired on at the KS Department of Children and Families (DCF) as a food stamps processor. It was monotonous and somewhat depressing, but I was happy to have a job. About 8 months in, I was turned on to another job opening in the same (Hiawatha) office as a Pre-Employment Transition Specialist which I applied for and started in July of 2022. I really enjoyed working with disabled teens, helping them figure out what they wanted to do with their lives. Anyway, I had finished another day working with teens, giving thanks that I had a low-pressure job where I could serve others and that was near to home. 

Mom called that evening--a bit unusual since we mostly talked on the weekend, but not unheard of. She said dad had been taken to the hospital because he'd had a seizure. I wasn't sure what to think. My dad??? He wasn't an epileptic. He didn't have ANY kind of health problem besides arthritis and the bad back he'd had since he fell out of a tree when he was 78 (really!). I said I'd come right away and she said no, her housekeeper, Tammy, was driving her to the hospital. She just wanted me to know. 

A heavy knot grew in my stomach and I went downstairs to get the suitcase, just in case. Sure enough, she called back about 10pm and said I should come, that the doctors didn't know what was wrong and that dad was in a medically induced coma. It was a long drive. The radio didn't work and I knew I wouldn't be able to listen to a book or music. I sang camp-fire songs for the two hour drive. 

When I got to the hospital, I had to jockey cars with Tammy so she could go home. Mom was distraught and the family was gathering. The doctors said at first that he had a subdural hematoma--a brain bleed--which had caused stroke-like symptoms. Mom told me that they'd been out earlier (still February 7th at this point) keeping a manicure appointment for her. When they'd arrived at the house, dad had announced he needed to lay down. He did so on the living room carpet. After lying there, he said he felt better and went downstairs. When mom was ready for bed at 9:00, she saw he wasn't in bed and called downstairs for him. He wasn't able to answer, so she used her panic button to call 911.