Winning at Life

A recent conversation with my dad helped me to start to distill my life philosophy. He'd been talking about a training program for adult men who'd been recently released from prison. Their challenges were many--finding a steady job, transportation, housing and reintegrating into a non-institutional society. What the trainer boiled it down to was three criteria for success. I loved this because the three criteria apply not only to an employment situation but to life in general.

1. SHOW UP. I see non-examples of this every day in the classroom. Students who "don't feel like" coming to school, don't come to school because it's raining/snowing/too hot, etc. I see students before and after my class but not in my class. I see students whose bodies are present, but minds notably absent. Sometimes there is a legitimate reason for not being present in your life, but most often we get distracted by technology, noise, color or what have you. Outside of the classroom, I encountered another non-example of the "show up" principle at a recent interview. It was conducted by the principal of the school and the vice-principal. Both had their laptops open and facing them (de-riguer for today's technologically tied-in executives), but the vice principal also had her cell phone on the desk and a students' tablet computer, both of which she checked several times during the interview. In other words, her body was present, but her mind didn't show up!

2. EVERY DAY. If people manage to succeed at the first principle, they're often stymied by the second. To be fully present, you need to be fully present all the time. Sure, if your workplace participates in the four-day workweek, you won't be there on Friday and more power to you! Every day gets tedious and downright hard. Every day takes a lot of grit (now there's a buzzword!) and perseverance to pull off. However, the difference between every day and just some of the days is the difference between a Steve Jobs and a Steven Jankowitz. Don't know who he is? Right, neither do his co-workers or his boss because he's not there every day.

3. ON TIME. This is one I don't have trouble with. In fact, if anything, I'm one of those annoying people who always arrive 10-15 minutes early to things. (I'm thinking--what if I get lost? What if something happens? I don't want to arrive looking rushed.)  My take-away here is, what's the point of going if you're going to miss the beginning? Why not just have someone tell you what happened? That's what they'll have to do anyway when you arrive, huffing and panting after the whole thing's started. I say, be early, bring a book, take some time to relax and prepare. On time feels good.

So, I'm planning to encourage my students to show up for life, every day and on time. After all, their lives are just starting and they shouldn't want to miss a single minute!

The Finish Line

The end of school always looks the same. Students are visiting classrooms they may never have been to before to see what , oh what they can do to try and pull out a passing grade. Teachers are pulling out their old favorite assignments and showing "educational" movies.  Administrators start to amp up the punishments because they are tired of seeing the same kids over and over. Janitors move a little slower, secretaries start to get the giggles.

In my classes, I start to think about how early I can take down the bulletin boards, because I like to let students do that. Why do students get excited about using a staple puller? Beats me, but it sure saves me time and effort. This year, we'll be boxing up six bookshelves worth of books in the room I share with another teacher. Luckily, they don't have to move far. You can't start too early de-decorating the room because it makes the last week seem really unwelcoming. So you find other ways to let the students know you love them.

And I do. Love them, I mean. Even though I usually say that I don't want to see another teenager for at least two months (except my own, of course!), we teachers get tired because we care so much. We want these kids, some of whom have been in more homes this year than in classes in a day, to have somewhere stable. We want these kids, who know more about violence and foul language than about poetry and biology, to have open minds. We want these kids to succeed in a world that doesn't always want them. At the end of the year, you find out how many of the kids want the same things.

Those are the kids who come in to volunteer in your classroom because they've got straight "A"s, or the kids you see at the end of each day, madly making up papers, assignments and tests. It's the kids you don't see that worry me. The kids who are content to pass with a D, who barely squeak by, who aren't involved in school activities, who don't participate in class. I've had dreams about these kids. I've lost sleep altogether about these kids.

Always, by August, I'm ready to roll again. I'm ready to take on the impossible task of educating other people's children. I'm filled with ideas, plans, strategies! But right now, I'm just tired and ready for the last bell that sounds like: SCHOOL's OUT!

Gardening Catalogs

     I really enjoy gardening catalogs. Every year, about this time, they start arriving in my mailbox--riots of color and hope when everything around is dead and brown. And even though my gardening policy is "if it can't survive without fussing, it can't live here" I still nourish the hope of lazy banks of flowers and foliage wending their way around my property.
     When they come, I like to spend some quality time with them. The catalogs, I mean. With my pen out, I'll circle the first ones that strike my eye. Then, I'll go back and look at bloom times, spread and height and color compatibility. I'll often cut out the descriptions and pictures, arranging them side-by side to see how they'd look. I'll start filling out the form, erasing and moving things around until I've got the ideal list. Then I'll put the form in the envelop and put it up with the bills.
      That's when my system goes off the rails. Once dreaming joins reality, I take the envelope down, tear it up and throw it away. Not a complaint, but a fact. We're paying off a bathroom that hadn't been useable for over a year because the shower leaked down into the basement and had leaking onto the floor damaging it, the subfloor underneath and the floor of the other bathroom. It was expensive to fix and we'll be paying it off until Christmas. Then there will be another project.
       Still, the sight of new blooms and heirloom tomatoes on the printed page makes me happy. It's always nice to dream!

Fox, vultures and dragonflies

     This morning I went up to the lake to do my 6.5 mile hike. I really enjoy these walks, either with or without companionship. So far, I've worn out my father and my son--both have been with me once and both were so tired afterwards that they didn't want to go back. Their loss. I don't mind going by myself and so far don't even listen to music because it is so beautiful to look at the trees, the animals and listen to the wild sounds. I see plenty of fisherman and some outdoors people running, biking or motorcycling.
     Today, I was lucky enough to see a vulture take off from a tree about 10 feet away from where I was walking. I'd seen two of them circling and thought they might be really big hawks, but then I startled this big fellow and he took off from the tree, flying over my head. Definitely a vulture. They are truly big birds and impressive in their own way. Lots better looking in flight than close-up though!
     As I walked I also saw plenty of dragonflies, many of them engaged in vigorous mating. When joined, they look like jeweled bi-planes, one atop the other, flying in unison. They're not really concentrating well on where they're going, but the fact that they can fly and mate at the same time is pretty impressive.
      Finally, I was privileged to see a fox sunning himself on a rock around mile four of my walk. He was a handsome fellow and seemed completely unruffled by either myself or the car that stopped to watch. Foxes are smaller than you would think--about the size of a large cat. The bushy tail was absolutely gorgeous, though I wish I had brought my camera.
    

Several times now, on my walks down by the college, I've been able to see a heron that looks a lot like the picture at left. He's flown past me once so I got to view the incredible wingspan and grace of the creature. Other times he just stands by the water of the little pond they have, perhaps looking for fish. I've seen one at the park as well, same type as at left but I've only seen that one once. The first time I saw it, I couldn't stop smiling. I probably looked like I was crazy, but who cares! 

Teaching, Gardening, Start of Summer

      I've been itching to get out in the garden all school year and actually had a little time to do so with my new job. I've been laterally moved to Targeted Literacy Instructor, which just means that I have two very small sections (no more than 15 students) of kids who read below grade level. My other responsibility is to test each child individually several times per year and then to collaborate with their teachers in other classes such as social studies and science where there is grade-level reading and writing that they might need help with. I really enjoyed this last year--one of the lowest stress years in my teaching career thus far. However, I was ready to add to it which is why I'm glad to have a new class this next year.
      For the 2015-2106 school year, I'll have two sections of targeted literacy, one semester section of 21st Century Journalism (fun!) and one year section of Teaching as a Career. For the teaching class, I will be the fourth instructor and four years, but I hope to hang on to it for a while. I really enjoy teaching the journalism class, but never get enough kids to sign up for it to have two sections--a whole year worth. I'm hoping the teaching class will keep me busy but not overwhelmed and I'm really looking forward to it.
     As to gardening, I've been working on weeding and clearing the fenceline. For some reason, our chain link fence attracts birds who love to "plant" all sorts of unwanted crap. My dog is not a great birder, though she did catch a rabbit the other day, and may or may not have caught a squirrel. So, the birds come and while I enjoy their song and plumage I really hate clearing the fence every single year. Plus, I'm really allergic to poison ivy and I pick it up every year, without fail because it will be hidden in amongst the other foliage and by the time I see it, it's far too late.

      I'll take some pictures if it every stops raining to post here because my front garden is starting to shape up really nicely. My kids are really helping out this year which is a true joy. When they are little, they "help" but you end up doing most of the work. My son (14) is old enough to use the crosscut saw and has more upper-body strength than me so has been hacking away at some old stumps on the fence, really making it look so much better. Like someone cares. And I do!

Amelia's Reading List

The Gemini Effect by Chuck Grossart (completed 4/24/2015)--a mash-up between the Hot Zone and Aliens, I got it free from Amazon Prime and thought it might be cheesy. It was, a little, but also a really fun and fast read. When the military screws us over, thank God for scientists! Or did they start it in the first place . . . ? (read on my Kindle)

Sugar by Deidre Riordan Hall (completed 5/9/2015)--a coming-of-age story about two messed up kids. Engaging but a little painful. The female protagonist uses sugary, fatty foods as a drug--hence the title. Loved it until about 3/4 the way through when a plot twist really ticked me off. Kept reading just to see what would happen and was glad I did. (read on my Kindle)

Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Zombies by Matt Mogk (completed 5/12/2015)--a fun read for zombie enthusiasts. Funny, snarky and super useful for the upcoming zombie apocalypse. Remember, it's not if--it's when!

Where'd You Go, Bernadette by Maria Semple (completed 5/20/2015)--so funny and compelling! The mystery of a missing mom told alternatively through e-mails, notes, letters and narrated by her gifted daughter, Bee. Hard to put down.

Bon Appetempt: A Coming of Age Story (with recipes!) by Amelia Morris (completed 5/27/2015)--I picked this one up because of the name of the author and because I thought it would mainly be about food. Turned out not to be the case, although there is a recipe or two that I wanted to try. This memoir was mostly about Amelia Morris and her husband meeting, attempting to make a living at their respective arts and growing into their adulthood.

Plague of the Undead by Joe McKinney (completed 6/2/2015)--Yup, it's a zombie book. The good ones, however are about the thoughts and actions of people driven to their extremity by a relentless opponent (in this case, something that never sleeps, never tires and wants to eat you). The novel was followed by four short (unrelated) stories, all well done and fully imagined. McKinney is a true writer, not just a zombie hack. But hey, I've read those too! :-)

Long-Distance Hiking by Dan Feldman (completed 6/5/2015)--In line with my goal to hike about 100 miles of the AT when I'm 50 (4 more years!), I've been doing a good amount of researching and reading about the subject. This was a very practical and texty book, but had both the specific and more general, philosophical advice I was looking for. My next step in preparation is to find the right kind of stove for me and I'm starting at a site recommended in the book (http://zenstoves.net/Construction.htm). If you are thinking about a long distance hike or just like to read about being in the wilderness, I'd also recommend Wild by Cheryl Strayed. The movie is pretty good too.

Water's Edge (An Alaskan Frontier Romance) by Jennifer McCardle (completed 6/6/2015)--Read this on my Kiindle. A fun diversion. Typical spunky female gets herself in lots of trouble--in this case life-threatening because she's in the Alaskan bush--and discovers that she can handle just about anything. But, of course, she still needs the love of a good man. 

Trail Tested: A Thru-Hiker's guide to ultralight hiking and backpacking by Justin Lichter (completed 6/7/2015) --OK, this guy has sponsors and seems to do almost nothing but hike, so obviously not something I'll be doing. This book had lots and lots of pictures and some amusing stories about things that went wrong. Helpful in that I got to see specific pieces of equipment and that I decided I want a tent and not any other kind of shelter.

Trigger Warning: Short Fictions and Disturbances by Neil Gaiman (completed 6/13/2015)--Rooted in fantasy with notes of sci-fi and horror, Gaiman is truly an artist of language. His short fiction is absorbing, disturbing and fascinating. My favorites in this collection were "Click-Clack the Rattlebag" and "The Sleeper and the Spindle" both diabolical little twisty tales. I'd recommend The Ocean at the End of the Lane or American Gods if you're just getting started with Gaiman.

Edgar Allan Poe: The Fever Called Living by Paul Collins (completed 6/16/2015)--a biography of the sometimes reclusive, always poor and extremely talented Poe. This short volume (107 pages) gave me some insight into the man behind "The Raven" and "The Pit and the Pendulum." Though he considered himself before all things a poet, Poe made very little money in his lifetime by his writing. Most was made by editing newspapers and magazines. I did learn that Poe, a fan of cryptic puzzles, was the originator of the modern detective mystery, publishing "Murder at the Rue Morgue" and "The Purloined Letter" almost 50 years before Sir Arthur Conan Doyle conceived his Sherlock Holmes character. No new insight on Poe's death, but an interesting read about his life.

Angel Omnibus Volume 1 by Jeff Mariotte, Peter David, Dan Jolley, Scott Tipton (completed

6/16/2015)--collection of longer Angel arcs and shorter one-offs featuring Illyria, Gunn, Wesley, Doyle and Connor (skipped that one). Although Angel doesn't have the same level of fun dialogue as Buffy, it's still a good read. The individual stories were a good insight into the characters, especially Illyria who was a real mystery during the show. An alien character in the body of a much-loved human. Allowed to live because of the attachment to the human (Fred) by the main characters (Wesley, primarily). I've also followed the comic version of season 8 of Buffy and know that season 9 is out as well, but haven't read that one.

Blue Labyrinth by Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child (completed 6/29/2015)--I had a lot of waiting to do today and finished this one sooner than I anticipated. This is the 14th in the Agent Pendergast series by Preston and Child and I've really enjoyed every one. My all-time favorites are Relic and Still Life With Crows which was based in Kansas. Pendergast is such a wonderful character. As he solves mysteries, he brings to light mysteries of his own about his murky background. A sophisticated Southern gentleman and FBI agent, Pendergast is skilled in all kinds of combat, the mental art of Chongg Ra and is independently wealthy. Makes his unorthodox methods that much easier to accomplish. This was a great read--can't wait for the next one.

The Martian by Andy Weir (completed 7/18/2015)--This is a freshman novel by Mr. Weir and it shows a bit. The exposition is a little clunky and I almost put it down after the first chapter, though the first line "I'm pretty much f***ed." certainly caught my attention. Once the main character begins telling his story, the book is hard to put down. There is a fair amount of actual science described, but he avoids confusion by asking the reader to trust him with the math. I was really rooting for the astronaut, but also for the ground support crew, battling to save one human being. Rather than stretching my believability about the science, I wondered if the US would really expend that level of money and personnel to recover one person. But hey, it's fiction.

 A Walk in the Woods by Bill Bryson (completed 8/21/2015) I enjoyed this book so much! Found it at a book store in Emporia and just devoured it. Although it's from 1989, they're just now making a movie of this book with Robert Redford and Nick Nolte that I'll definitely go and see. The reason I picked it up is that I'm interested in all things Appalachian Trail (in line with my goal to hike part of it when I turn 50). In contrast to Wild by Cheryl Strayed which was very gritty and sometimes made we want to cry, Bryson's section hikes were warm and funny--sometimes so much so that I laughed out loud. A Brittish man, Bryson views Americans with a sort of curiosity and amazement that demonstrates how we might look to generously-minded outsiders. He's rarely critical even when he meets a completely obnoxious, opinionated, imbecilic American woman also hiking the trail. She gloms onto Bryson and his hiking companion and they feel duty-bound to stay with her until they are able to ditch her in a town where they are taking a zero-day (no hiking). This is an easy read and so light-hearted I found it impossible not to enjoy.

Running with Scissors by Augusten Burroughs (completed 9/2/2015). How this man survived his childhood, I will never know. In this part of a multi-part autobiography (Dry is the book that picks up the story next), Augusten starts out with both parents, one of whom is depressed, the other is manic-depressive/schizophrenic. Before long, his dad leaves, his mom has a melt-down and he is signed over to the care of his mom's psychiatrist, Dr. Finch. And he thought he had problems before! Dr. Finch and his family are all deeply disturbed people who are encouraged to let their anger out in public and to "be who they are," whatever that means. Mostly what it seems to mean is that the children are left without order or direction in their lives. As Augusten says on pg. 264, " The problem with not having anybody to tell you what to do, I understood, is that there was nobody to tell you what not to do." Reading this was like reading the first-person account of a car wreck except that the car-wreck was his life.

 A Slip of the Keyboard by Terry Pratchett (completed 11/01/2015). This was the non-fiction writing of a fantasy/sci-fi writer I enjoy reading. Though I've not read his "Disc-World" series, I've enjoyed other works and thought I'd check out his last words, since he passed recently (March 12, 2015). Many of these were transcripts of speeches he had made and several of them were near duplicates, so I ended up skipping around a fair amount. However, he had some eloquent things to say about the fantasy genre and about his creations specifically that were worth reading. His voice came shining through these pages and what a voice it was! He will be missed.

We Were Brothers by Barry Moser (completed 11/19/2015). Picked this up from the library the week before Thanksgiving and finished it quickly. A short biography of a boy (and his brother) raised in TN just before and during the Civil Rights movement. His family was fundamentally racist and this account is the realization of one part of the family that his views have changed while the rest of the family has stayed mired in a hatred and misunderstanding that they don't even realize they have. Sadly, he never reconciled with his brother before his brother's early death. What this brought home to me was the way families are insular and so self-contained that there might be no room for outside voices. Plus, that it's hard to see inside yourself without first experiencing the world outside yourself.

Zoo by James Patterson (completed 12/28/2015). This one had been on my bookshelf for some time and I picked it up after Christmas for a little light reading. If the end of the world by dog (and other mammal) attack could be considered light reading. Usually, Patterson just goes in for murder, but this was a quasi-scientific apocalypse brought about by our use of cell phones and fossil fuels. Go figure. A fast, fun read.

 Eva by Peter Dickinson (completed 12/29/2015). I read this after a student picked it up and did a book talk on it, convinced that the student had not read it but instead copied the description from the internet. This was the case, in fact, but I'm glad I read this, especially just after I'd read Zoo (reviewed above). Eva is the child of scientists who help run a chimpanzee "Pool" used for testing drugs prior to human trials. The book is set in a world over-run by humans where the animals have been pushed out of existence except for those who could live with or benefit humans. In the opening sequence, Eva, a golden-haired, blue-eyed child, wakes from a terrible car accident to find herself unable to move. She remains paralyzed while she discovers her "new" body. Despite being technically a sci-fi book (3-d technology is everywhere, called "shaper" tech and treated as a substitute for nature and a human tranquilizer), this story is a thought-provoking look at our relationship with our closest relatives and the natural setting that both of us need to survive.

Lessons from my dog

I’ve always had dogs. We bred Cocker Spaniels when I was a kid and they were just part of the menagerie that included cats, rats, turtles and hermit crabs. But I’ve always had dogs. In my married life, we’ve been through three, with the latest being a shepard mix named Kyla. Our dogs have been companions, protectors, jesters and confessors and we’ve always treated them as part of the family. Except, we didn’t always take them for walks. Our (my) excuse is that I’ve always had a big back yard for them to run around in. Or I didn’t have time. Or I wanted to take the kids for a walk. Whatever.

Kyla needs to walk. When we get out the leash, she goes into paroxysm of joy, wiggling with her whole body, eyes adoringly switching between you and the front door. Doesn’t matter the time of day, how long the walk is or who it taking her—she’s always game. I, personally, walk for exercise. When I walk, I want to go, I want to sweat, I want to feel my calves burning at the end. Kyla walks for the smells. She loves to smell all things. People, garbage, grass, leaves, pavement. When she finds something especially wonderful to smell, she will throw her 95-lb body to the ground, spreading out all four limbs and stay there until all the lovely aroma has been fully absorbed. There is no moving her at these times.

Our needs did not mesh. If I took Kyla for a walk, I didn’t get a workout and got very frustrated, pulling the dog, feeling that I was wasting my time. Not being a speaking creature, Kyla doesn’t say “Hey, I need to smell this bush now, stop yanking my chain!” but I’m sure she was thinking it. I needed to sweat, she needed to smell. So, I went on walks by myself, pushing her away as I tied my sneakers, petting and hugging her when I returned home, but leaving her there as I took care of myself. Until one day, I couldn’t resist the sad, puppy dog eyes and leashed her up, purely for her own enjoyment. We walked about half a mile. I didn’t look at my watch, I didn’t pull on her leash. When she wanted to stop, we stopped. When she wanted to cross the path, we crossed the path. When she began panting, we turned around and went home. It was a great walk.

My dog taught me to recognize that I couldn’t always do it all. Sometimes, a walk is just a walk. Sometimes grass needs to be smelled. This is why I have a dog—sometimes she’s smarter than I am.