Parent/Teacher Conferences

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NOTE: I wrote this during our district training the week following parent/teacher conferences (what we call Family Advocacy Day). Our job was to use a mentor text to duplicate style, tone or content. The mentor text I used was "Why Daddy Can't Write" from the Sports Illustrated archive. 

Family Advocacy Day was last week, so I took my laptop and my student work samples to school. Because who doesn’t want to stay at school until 7:00pm?

Maybe I thought that parents would be lined up at my door, desperate to talk to me about how to improve little Johnny’s grade.

Uh, nope.

It was a lot of conversations like this:

JOHNNY’S MOM: My son is failing your class.

ME: Yes, he is.

JOHNNY’S MOM: My little sugar-bear tells me that he never has homework, so when he’s playing his X-Box I check on his School Loop and see all the zeros and I’m so confused.

ME: I only give homework when a student doesn’t finish their work in class.

JOHNNY’S MOM; So you never give homework? I always had homework when I was a kid! I don’t understand why you wouldn’t give him homework!

ME: We generally complete assignments in class, but when a child doesn’t do the assignment, they must complete it at home.

JOHNNY’S MOM: So you don’t give homework? Then why is my angel failing your class? You should give more homework!

ME: Mrs. Johnny, your son does not complete his work in class, so his job is to finish it at home. This is homework.

JOHNNY’S MOM: I thought you said you didn't give homework?

ME: I said students may have to finish assignments at home if they don’t complete it in class.

JOHNNY’S MOM: Is that the same as homework?

ME: Yes

JOHNNY’S MOM: So you do give homework?

ME: Yes ma’am.

JOHNNY’S MOM; So why is my darling dumpling failing your class?